Seeing a hard-working person lose their job is tragic — nobody wishes to witness this. However, there is something vicariously funny about people who are just downright irresponsible losing theirs, especially when it happens quickly. Here are some stories from a recent online post about colleagues fired in record time.
1. I’m Not Doing Your Stinking Dishes
When a grocery store clerk witnessed the boss telling a colleague to clean the bakery dishes, her response raised some eyebrows. “I only do my own dishes; somebody else put these here, so I’m not doing them,” quotes the commenter. “I’m serious. Fire me if you want; I won’t do them.” Spoiler alert: She didn’t clean the dishes — or finish the shift.
2. Employee Starts His Own NSA
Sometimes, a person is in the wrong place at the wrong time; in this employee’s case, it was the right time for others’ enjoyment. “A new person got access to the medical records system,” explains a colleague. “Week two: looked up our boss and bragged about it. Was walked out and gone (by) the second week.” On the upside, they will probably never buy a drink in that town again.
3. Come On, Now
“First day on the job,” says a frank commenter, “gave another coworker a wet-willy.” Imagine being so tone-deaf with human beings that you think doing something so revolting would endear you to them. Where was this person’s last job? A circus? “For context, this was in an office setting,” the thread poster continues. “After the deed was done and the coworker expressed his anger, he hid in a bathroom stall until management found him.”
4. Worse Than Stealing Money
One story concerns a newbie factory floor employee who struggled to do anything right on the assembly line and then went one further at break time. “He goes to the lunch room and takes a lunch,” recalls the storyteller. “It was the boss’s lunch; he stole the guy’s meal his wife prepared for him.” I am not sure I would stop at firing this person; stealing my barbecue would be an “emotional” incident.
5. Natural Selection
The next work caper involved a rookie store clerk who shared a new trade secret he had for exploiting a useful loophole. “If a customer had exact change, he’d just pocket the cash and cancel the order on the register,” recounts the amused observer. You can just picture the manager’s face, can’t you? I assume the new clerk was gone within a few minutes for such stupidity.
6. Nerd Alert
An internet engineer remembers a coworker in the late ’90s getting a warning for gaming during office hours. However, rather than show remorse or consider his actions, he went even further. “Next day, he walks in to work with a Voodoo2 graphics card to install in his work computer to improve the game playing,” describes the commenter. “He was fired before he sat down.”
7. Quick Thinking Leads to Quick Sacking
“Had a supervisor start selling Amway from his office, who hinted at favorable treatment for anyone who would buy,” states the following contributor. “When they asked if it was true, he pulled out a catalog and tried to sell them something.” You have to admire the initiative — Okay, I may be going down in flames here — right, let’s go in hard, shame be gone! He was fired on the spot.
8. Student Bus Drivers
An airline pilot some time ago let their kid fly the plane momentarily before the aircraft lost control and plummeted to a disastrous end. It takes a human level of stupidity to give control of any vehicle to a child — just like the next poster’s former comrade. “A colleague let a middle school kid drive the bus,” explains a contributor. “Buh-bye!”
9. Sleeping Beauty
When a duty manager responsible for opening the shop on Saturday goes out and “gets blitzed” that Friday night, he best be present — or at least answer his phone. One storyteller’s boss did neither. “Guy was fast asleep, under his desk,” he recalls, no doubt with a smile. “He was gone before you could say ‘hangover.'”
10. Well, That Escalated Quickly
“Dude’s first day on a team next to mine gets an assignment,” begins the next remark. “As soon as the lead leaves the area, he leans over to another guy and threatens that if he doesn’t do his work for him, he’s going to ‘kick his bum after work.'” I am positive the fallen individual had planned this from the outset, though he lasted two hours before security escorted him off-site.
11. Mai Tai or Yours?
If anything, I would relish seeing this scenario unfold to enjoy the reaction from the unsuspecting dinner guests. “Worked in a restaurant, and when the table wanted to return their Mai Tai, the server chugged it right in front of them and said, ‘It tastes fine,'” says the next witness to career Harakiri. Let’s hope they learned from their mistake.
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