12 Subtle Signs You’re Working for an Abusive Boss – And How To Handle It

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Abusive bosses can quickly create an unhealthy work environment, making you want to quit every day. However, their abuse is insidious and subtle, so recognizing them as the problem is complex. Here are twelve signs of abusive bosses and tips on dealing with them.

1. Taking No Feedback

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An abusive boss rarely accepts feedback from employees, especially when it comes to personal responsibility. You’d see them get defensive and often blame others in an attempt not to accept their own mistakes. Remember not to take their dismissal of feedback as something serious, as it’s merely a way for them to avoid accountability.

2. Gallons of Gaslighting

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If your boss makes up stuff to downplay or distort your version of events, they’re gaslighting you. They’ll insist on lies that confuse you and even make you believe something is your fault. The best way to do this is to keep tabs and documentation on what they’ve told you and ask for information via multiple sources to preserve your sanity.

3. Fishing for Compliments

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Your quick-tempered abusive boss may be suffering from an inferiority complex. You may see them fish for compliments in an embarrassingly obvious way. Remember that these people seek external validation to compensate for their inadequacy.

4. Alienating Others

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Abusive bosses are notorious for hating friendly work environments. You see them play favorites and pit employees against one another. This shifts their focus onto the immediate conflict instead of the problem, the boss. Reflecting on issues as a team is more important than ever in such moments.

5. Gossip Girl

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Abusive bosses love to giggle over office gossip. Unfortunately, it isn’t just harmless talk but can be potentially harmful rumors. Opinions are one thing, but speaking poorly of employees in front of others is a no-go. You’d want to avoid stepping into such a mess when you see them attempt to bring you into any drama.

6. Yelling When Upset

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If your boss is screaming and raising their voice needlessly, you’re in an abusive work environment. There is no justification for yelling when the same point can be conveyed in a calmer, more professional manner. Take a deep breath, and don’t boil your blood over baseless insults.

7. Haywire Helicopter

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Abusive bosses tend to micromanage. This is a subtle way of bullying, but it can show control issues one may have. Additionally, it indicates the boss’s struggle to trust their own team. Hence, you may feel like you’re under constant surveillance. However, remember never to take this behavior as a depiction of your abilities.

8. “You’re Overreacting!”

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If your boss makes you think you’re too sensitive or overreacting to a situation, you might want to take these statements with a grain of salt. When it comes to a distressing issue, having your boss downplay your struggle is a sign of abuse. In facing such adversity, always speak of your needs clearly and assertively.

9. Condescending Descension

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If you see your boss often jab at their employee’s capability disrespectfully, it’s time to whip out your armor. Bosses who use a condescending tone when addressing their team abuse power inequality to retain their stronghold. However, remember to avoid shouting or belittling them in return, which is bound to backfire.

10. Temper Tantrums

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Abusive bosses lose their sense of control at a minor inconvenience, leading them to behave in unacceptable ways. However, they take advantage of their position as these tantrums won’t stand a chance if they work under someone else. Documenting objective data for HR or other administrators in case of any issues is helpful.

11. Cancerous Competition

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Your workplace may exude a sense of unhealthy competition as you constantly find your work being compared to your boss’s standards. Abusive bosses may scrutinize your work unfairly and even put it up against theirs, hindering a culture of improvement and development. Be mindful that your professional development is a personal journey.

12. Vague Words

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Bosses who often give vague instructions deliberately set up their employees for failure. They know these unclear directions will cause the work to get disrupted, but they do it anyway since it helps justify the insults they’ll hurl later. Always ask for more clarity to avoid these issues, or get the instructions via email so you have a record.

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