It’s tricky to pinpoint when good manners stopped being integral to childhood. The bigger concern, of course, might be why.
There was a time when good etiquette was the norm, and impolite children stood out like a sore thumb. Today, it’s becoming more noticeable when a young person shows good manners. From scrolling on their phones in the company, making eye contact, eating with an open mouth, and saying “please” and “thank you”, the sad abandonment of etiquette is somewhat baffling.
We’ve chosen 18 manners we’d love to see today’s youth embrace with enthusiasm.
1. Saying “Thank You,” “Please,” And “Excuse Me”
A generation ago, good manners were the norm. Everyone used the words “please”, “thank you”, and “excuse me”. If you bumped into someone accidentally in the street, the instant “sorry” or “excuse me” was an automatic response.
You wouldn’t have dreamed of not saying “thank you” when someone did something nice for you.
2. Making Eye Contact
Making eye contact with others is an important aspect of communication. Getting younger children to focus can be tricky, but it will help them later in life if parents teach them to make eye contact when having a conversation.
When another person doesn’t look at you when you’re talking, it feels like they aren’t listening, which can cause friction in relationships.
3. Asking To Be Excused From the Table
Basic table manners help integrate us into society, showing respect for those we eat with. In times gone by, a child would not have left the table without first asking to be excused. These poor manners carry into adulthood. I
f you’re on a date, getting up and leaving the table in a restaurant and not excusing yourself comes across as rude.
4. Chewing with Their Mouths Closed
There is little worse than watching someone eat with their mouth open or talking with a mouth full of food. Perhaps it comes from the gradual collapse of eating together as a family at home, around the table. TV dinners encourage lazy habits.
Teach children to chew with their mouths closed from an early age. It might save awkward moments later on.
5. Putting the Phone Down When Interacting With Others
With the advent of smartphones, we’ve become addicted to getting the dopamine hit from constant scrolling. Visit any restaurant and look around at couples and families on their phones instead of talking to each other.
As younger children get smartphones these days, it’s concerning to think about the deterioration of communication skills and how it will affect relationships.
6. Using an Indoor Voice
Visit any supermarket or restaurant worldwide, and a child is having a noisy tantrum. It’s not just toddlers, either. Children of all ages seem to have lost the volume filter in public places and grow into loud youths competing to get heard above the noise.
It’s essential to teach children an “indoor voice,” so they respect the presence of others.
7. Holding the Door for Others
There’s something about a person showing courtesy that brightens our day. Someone holding a door open for us was a form of politeness we took for granted, but it’s disappearing.
Teach children to become aware of others, such as someone carrying heavy shopping, struggling with a buggy, or a pile of books, and encourage them to hold a door open.
8. Waiting Until Everyone is Served Before Eating
Table manners mattered to older generations, and when dining out, the unspoken rule was to wait until everyone at the table had their meal before eating. Another alternative is to ask the table if it is OK to start. It’s etiquette that shows patience and respect.
As an adult, starting a meal while others wait is considered rude.
9. Covering The Mouth When Coughing Or Sneezing
Coughing or sneezing without using a hand or tissue to cover the mouth is a horrible habit. It can spread germs and spray others with saliva, which is pretty disgusting for them.
Teach children from an early age to cover their mouths when coughing or sneezing. These good manners mean others will enjoy spending time with them without catching their germs.
10. Shaking Hands
Shaking hands might seem like a formal courtesy, but there are certain situations where it is the expected way to behave. For instance, if you attend a job interview and meet the hiring manager, it’s typical to shake hands as an introduction.
The interviewer may extend their hand first, but teaching children to shake hands when appropriate is good etiquette.
11. Knocking Before Entering A Room
For the older generation, knocking before entering a room was the accepted norm. Nowadays, the younger generations seem to have little respect for this courtesy.
In addition, the unwritten rule is to knock on a door and wait for the other person to say “come in” before entering the room. In an interview, this etiquette could mean the difference between getting a job and not.
12. Writing “Thank You” Notes
Ah, the good old days when people sent handwritten “thank you” notes. These days, people are lucky if they receive a text or email, but it isn’t the same.
Sending a handwritten note shows the sender has taken the time to think about what the person did to warrant a thank you. It creates a warm glow of appreciation.
13. Addressing Adults By Miss, Mrs. or Mr.
Older generations would never have dared to use an adult’s first name. They always addressed their title as Mr., Mrs., Miss, or Sir, or Ma’am, followed by their surname.
In martial arts, this etiquette is a non-negotiable rule. The students must use the instructor’s title, which teaches children to respect each other and their elders.
14. Waiting for Their Turn To Speak
As technology has evolved, we’ve become used to everything happening fast, which has created a generation with impulsivity driving their actions. Conversations should be like a ping-pong game, with one person waiting for the other to serve their sentences.
Teach children not to interrupt, respect the other person, and wait for their turn to speak.
15. Standing To Greet Someone
Some of these common courtesies subconsciously affect how we react to others. When someone remains sitting when you meet them, it sends a message that they don’t respect you enough to show the courtesy of meeting you at eye level.
When the seated person is in a position of authority, even if not intended, it can put the standing person on the back foot, feeling unbalanced.
16. Not Reaching Across the Table
The older generation learned not to reach across the table to grab food. In addition to being polite, this good habit has a practical reason.
Reaching across a table can cause things to get knocked over, which may spill on someone’s clothing. It’s better to ask the person next to you to pass whatever you want.
17. Taking Food They Touch
To prevent contamination, touching food more than once is unacceptable, yet it’s become a problem in today’s generation. Even if the child washes their hands, touching food more than once increases the risk of bacteria spreading.
Teach children to look and not touch until they decide it’s what they want to eat.
18. Avoiding Invading Personal Space
Feeling a stranger’s breath on the back of your neck is deeply uncomfortable when standing in a queue. We all have an invisible personal boundary, which varies, but anything less than three feet can feel unpleasant. The same goes for face-to-face communication.
Standing too close can seem invasive unless you are in a loving relationship with the person.
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