A Reddit user recently shared her story of taking a picture of her husband’s card and using it to pay for an Uber and a meal. She was surprised at her husband’s reaction and took to the internet to try to defend her position.
Borrowing or Stealing?
The original poster (OP) explained that she has been with her husband for eight years and married for three. They have no children together but plan on trying starting next year. They don’t have a joint bank account, but decided to keep their money separate so they could keep track of whose money is whose and avoid financial issues.
OP said she had planned a small get together with an aunt she hadn’t seen in two years. She said that originally she was going to pay for her part of the evening, but she lost her debit card the night before, so she reported it lost and could no longer use it.
Her husband wasn’t going to be able to take her to dinner since he was working, so she took a picture of his card and saved it on her Uber app and took money to pay for her fare there and back and for her portion of dinner.
She said her Uber was $32 one way, $46 back, and $42 for the meal. Her husband saw the charges, and when she got home, he told her he was disappointed and hurt that she would do that, and that he’s trying to save money. He said it wasn’t about the money, but the principle. He called OP a thief and said it says a lot about her character for not asking.
OP said she feels that because they’re married, he shouldn’t view things this way.
The Masses Weigh In
The Reddit community was definitely not on OP’s side in this situation.
One user said, “YTA for doing it behind his back. If you had informed him about it and explained the situation, he’d have probably accommodated you, but this way you did steal money from his account.”
Decision Could Lead to Major Trust Issues
Another user offered a more in-depth explanation as to why OP is in the wrong here, with much harsher language.
“I’m deeply concerned that you’re nearly 30 years old and you genuinely don’t seem to understand why what you did wasn’t just unethical or that when your husband tells you that you’re a thief he’s not just being unkind or saying mean things to you, he’s trying to get you to understand that you just committed a criminal act. If I were him I’d be VERY VERY UPSET, and it has nothing to do with how much or how little money of his you took. It has to do with the fact that you just committed fraud without hesitation and you either literally don’t understand what you did or don’t think it’s a big deal.”
He went on to compare her actions to identity theft, a criminal act.
“Taking a picture of someone else’s bank card or credit card, and entering that information into your own apps to spend their money is something you get a criminal record and potentially go to jail for…You’re acting as though you don’t understand why he’s annoyed, and that it’s the equivalent of taking a $20 bill that he left on the nightstand? (Which would still be theft, but . . . not like this.)
Again, You literally started off this post by talking about how you and your husband choose to keep separate finances. What part of ‘you made an agreement that his money and yours are not for sharing freely’ did you not understand?”
He clarified that it wasn’t really about the amount of money, it was the fact that the OP didn’t think it was a big deal to steal from her husband, and noted that this level of mistrust did not bode well for their marriage.
Was OP in the wrong for taking her husband’s money? Should she have asked first? How would you have reacted in this situation?
You can read the full discussion here.
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